Teach the Younger Women
“The aged women…may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5
Having reared 5 children, all now married and with families, and having 22 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren, I suppose I would definitely be called an “aged woman.” However, I also believe this verse could and does apply to women much younger than myself, yet are godly, mature women in the Word of God. We’ve read some of their articles in this blog.
For a number of years, in our churches, on deputation, visiting churches, and in other ways and places, the Lord has burdened my heart for young women, especially those just beginning to have families of their own. In today’s culture, there is little help to these dear women, struggling to know how to “do life!” So many mothers are actually crying for help in their homes! And there aren’t many qualified people responding. By “qualified,” I am speaking of those who would truly help from a spiritual standpoint, with a Biblical and godly perspective. For this reason, I am writing for those young ladies, wives, mothers, and perhaps grandmothers, who may need some encouragement and Biblical principles to follow in their homes, especially based on Titus 2:3-5.
I realize that being raised in a Christian home with godly parents gave me some advantage in training my children. And I know that the majority of young mothers do not have that kind of heritage. But we DO have the same Word of God to teach us what to do!
Why are so many mothers floundering with how to discipline their children and how to balance work, home, and personal priorities? Why are so many women groping for ways to hold their marriages together? Why are many women looking for MORE than being a wife and a mom to obtain “fulfillment” in their lives? Why are so many young mothers finding themselves as single parents?
I don’t even suggest that I have all the answers to these and other questions plaguing women today, but in the next few articles, perhaps we can determine some answers through God’s Word.
First of all, a woman who wants to have a godly home must WANT that above everything else in her life. Even as Daniel “purposed in his heart” that he would not defile himself with the king’s meat (Dan. 1:8), so must a woman “purpose in her heart” to have a godly home and to be a godly wife and mother--- no matter what it takes! Along with having this purpose, we need to consistently and daily renew that purpose. Consistency is so important in accomplishing ANY goals we may set.
I remember as a young mother someone advised me to set three major goals for each of my children. The firstwas, of course, to make sure each one was saved - truly knew the Lord, not just raising a hand, walking an aisle, or even praying a prayer. But be sure to teach them to know Him personally so that their lives reflect a desire to please Him.
While we know the Holy Spirit must do the work in a child’s heart to draw him/her to Christ, there are things a parent can do to allow the Holy Spirit to work. We can make sure our children are saturated with God’s Word through attendance in church and church activities. We can play God-honoring music in our homes, read Christian literature, teach them the Word of God through memorization, read Christian children’s books, listen to recordings, and more. In discipline, teach them what sin is, how it affects our relationship with God, and how wonderful God’s forgiveness is. Bring the Lord into conversation often to relate everyday activities to Him! Teach them to pray and learn how God answers prayer! Make a big deal when you see an answer to prayer and let them know how important that is! I’m sure there are many other ways to prepare a child to allow the Holy Spirit to work in his heart at an early age, but these are just a few that came to mind.
My second goal was to teach each child to learn to use AND apply the Word of God in his/her own life. This is especially important as children get older. Start by encouraging devotions, even at an early age. Try to find material that would help your child understand what he reads. Of course, be an example in this area. Show them how important God’s Word is to you! Take time to talk to them about what God is teaching you and them! And I cannot overemphasize how important it is to PRAY that your child will learn that God can and does speak to them through His Word.
Our third goal for our children was to teach them to serve the Lord - learn to love it - wherever and in whatever aspect of life He led them. Since my husband was a missionary pastor for most of his life, our children were involved in ministry. But we wanted them to know that service to the Lord was such a privilege, even if it was just passing out songbooks or setting up tables and chairs. Hidden areas of service are just as needed as singing a special or preaching a message! As they grew, we encouraged them to think about full-time ministry, rather than pursuing a money-making career. However, if God directed them into some other career, we stressed the importance of SERVING God in that work.
In addition to having this purpose,young wives and mothers need to learn to pray for their homes. This probably sounds trite to many Christian women, and almost should go without saying, but do we REALLY pray for our husbands and our children—daily? Pray for wisdom, that God would show us what to do and how to react in every situation that comes up in our family. Pray for the future spouses of your children. Pray for their salvation and service. Pray for their schooling, the choices they make in friends, books to read, things they watch, computer time they choose, and the college they will attend. The list is endless as you begin a sincere prayer life for your family.
In addition to prayer, claim His promises! Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call unto me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not.” Couldn’t this mean in the lives of our children and husbands, too? I certainly can attest to the truth of this verse within our own family. God gave wisdom as we asked, and our children DID learn to use God’s Word, and they DID learn to serve HIM! All glory to God! Amazing grace!
Ask God to guide you in your personal relationships – with the Lord, as well as with your husband and children. As the children see a sincere, loving, and godly relationship between their mother and father, they will begin to desire to have that kind of relationship themselves when they grow older and are ready to seek a mate. Develop a relationship with your children daily. Communicate with them, so that when they become teenagers, each day will be the same as the day before, and there won’t be that gap between parents and teens. Become involved in their lives - regardless of the sacrifice you will need to make. I am convinced that one of the main ingredients lacking in many parents is selflessness, putting our children and, yes, our husbands before ourselves. We have swallowed the world’s philosophy that we “deserve” to be pampered, or we have “rights”, and should be treated this way. Girl power, women’s rights, and the feminist agenda have infiltrated our Christian women along with the rest of the world. Remember that God says you “are not your own, for you are bought with a price.” (I Cor. 6:19-20) Dying to self is a critical step in our Christian life, as well as in the lives of our family members.
Finally, after looking at our personal relationships, we need to perform those things the Lord has led us to do. Once again, consistency is vital in our performance. Proverbs 8:34 says, “Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching DAILY at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.” The watching and waiting indicate expectance and eagerness. But the word dailyimplies consistency.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he WILL NOT DEPART from it.” (Prov. 22:6, emphasis mine). There is a lot of plain hard work involved in training! We must train our children by example, train through discipline, train when it hurts, and train when it is inconvenient. But any goal worth attaining carries with it a lot of work. And the promises of God’s Word are our reward!