Being a Parent is Hard
Being a parent is hard.
There's the whole pregnancy/labor/delivery thing. That's long, painful work for a mother. But it's nothing compared to the amount of work that comes after the birthing process. Then you have the feeding-bathing-diapering-dressing-repeat phase. Absolutely exhausting. You'll notice there is no "sleeping" there. About the time parents have that whole cycle figured out, the baby begins moving, and a whole new level of work begins.
And the cycles rush by after that. Most of you reading this are parents. You know what I'm talking about.
Our babies go from slobbery infants to toddling explorers to alphabet-singing pre-schoolers to awkward middle-schoolers to fledgling adults - all in the blink of an eye. That's the phase I'm at: the fledgling adults. One daughter is off to her second year of college, while the next is preparing to head to college a year from now. My son has a job! Well, he has two actually. And he's on the high school football team. And I know from experience that before I can turn around twice, they'll all be grown and gone.
So parenting is hard, yes. But it seems that parenting this stage is even harder. We are preparing our children to handle adult problems, in an adult world, in an adult (and hopefully godly) way. Every day I am bombarded through social media with mantras and demands on what I should be teaching my children in order to produce the most productive, upstanding citizens possible. (Yes, they are still children, even the one in college.)
"Empower your daughters! Teach them that they can breathe fire!"
"Sensitivity training is the key!"
"Give them a solid education in the classics."
"Every pre-teen needs more sex education."
"Help them to find their own path."
"Train them with marketable skills."
But as I think through each of these ideas, I find them lacking. Lacking in truth. Lacking in sufficiency. Lacking in power.
What do my children really need? And for that matter, what do you and I really need? Well, it's none of those things above, but in a way, it is all of them rolled into one.
They need Jesus.
They need to hear and read and know God's Word, for that is the source of all truth. They need to learn the difference between a need and a want, and find that God will always supply for all of their genuine needs, for He is all-powerful. They need to find Mom and Dad on their knees, begging God for leading and wisdom, for in Him alone do we find power for living. My children need to see that wisdom, so freely given, can be used in life's everyday situations.
They need to know God personally.
To realize that He is the source of all love. To believe in Him and be saved by Him. To rely on Him. To trust Him.
Just this week, one of our kids has gone through some difficult things. Nothing life-threatening or earth-shattering, but nonetheless, trials for her. I have fretted (and repented) a thousand times. Then I went on to figuring, looking for a way that I could help and alleviate her problem. All the while, I was asking God to work and show Himself strong to her. And guess what?
None of my planning, conniving, scheming, or worrying did any good at all. But last night, God met my daughter's need. The physical circumstances have not changed one iota, but He spoke to her heart from His Word and settled in her mind that He will always be with her, that He will always have her best interest at heart, and that He will truly supply all of her needs. And so now, it doesn't matter what actually happens on the surface. She knows that it will be the best thing for her in every possible way, because it comes from the hand of her loving heavenly Father.
How different would our world be, if every child grew up learning and knowing those truths? How would that change a woman's perspective when an unplanned pregnancy occurs? How would that change a grieving heart when a loved one dies or is killed by another? How would that change this cycle of violence and retaliation that seems to be the norm in our country now? How would that change our choices, decisions, and actions? Many of our most difficult situations could be avoided completely, if we would just make right choices in the first place.
I am heartbroken to say that it seems our country is too far gone to ever make these changes, but you are not too far gone. You can start right now, as you sit at your computer or phone, reading this message. Change now! Trust God for that hard thing you are going through.
And please, don't listen to the world when it comes to advice on raising our children! Listen to God, His Word, His truth. What a difference that will make!