Listen to the Widows

This week, we are focusing on widows. God has lessons for us through each season of life - for the single lady, the newlywed, the busy wife and mom, and yes, even the widow. Let’s be encouraged to keep in touch with the widows in our families and churches, listening to them, including them in our activities, and holding them up in prayer.

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“A father of the fatherless and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.” (Psalm 68:5)

Life has so many wonderful stages that we are privileged to travel through: graduation, working, getting married and having children are some of the wonderful events we may get to experience. The time of life that I was married and having a family were so great, and I loved the role of wife and mother. Then later came the excitement of being a grandparent! After 45 years of marriage, my life changed drastically and forever. My husband got cancer and passed into heaven after only five weeks from the diagnosis. I immediately became a widow, a term no one really wants.

As a widow so many things change. Half of you is gone, and a new life begins. After about a month, people forget about your loss and you are asked things like, “Aren’t you over it yet?” Or you are told, “Well, he is in a better place.” Of course, they have no idea of your grief unless they have experienced it. No, you never “get over it,” and yes, you are so very grateful he is with the Lord, but oh, how you wish he were still with you.

Grief becomes your constant companion. All at once, you no longer seem to fit anywhere. Friends are uncomfortable around you because they don’t know what to say and find it hard just to listen. It isn’t because they don’t care, they are just living their lives, just as I did before my life changed.

During the time of my husband’s illness and his funeral, God gave me the strength to do what was needed. It was almost surreal as I went through the motions of all the preparations to say good-bye to the one I loved. Many times, I would question God as to why He took my husband and why I had to be alone. And God would remind me of Joshua 1:9: “Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go.” I knew my Father understood. Jesus suffered loss and grief, and He feels mine, too.

As time goes on, grief never goes away, but it changes. After about three years, God showed me that He has a plan for me - and all widows who love him and desire to serve Him. He even says in His word that He will be a husband to the widow. As I read my Bible and listened to messages, it became apparent to me that God was speaking to me about faith and trust. And that “all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28)

I was not sure how it could possibly be good to be in this new part of life - and I still am not sure. But I know how I can help other people that are going through this hardship because I have experienced it myself. Over the past few years, I have been able to sit and listen to other widows as they talk about all the things they feel and think as a widow and how lonely they are. And I can understand their feelings.

God is holy and sovereign, and He is so patient with His children. It is amazing that any widow that knows the Lord and has a husband in Heaven can know that some day she will see him again. What a wonderful promise God gives us! My hope is that believers will realize that a widow or widower needs the fellowship of others and especially those who are willing to sit and listen, even if tears are falling. Also, we like to be included in activities and maybe invited to lunch or for coffee.

No one knows the affects of grief until they start the journey. Jesus is always with us, through each time of life, and the Holy Spirit is ready to guide and comfort. As fellow believers, we need to be willing to reach out and show love and support to others.

“For your Maker is your husband; the Lord of hosts is His name and your Redeemer.” (Isaiah 54:5)