Is Love Really “Just” Love?
“I’ve done a lot of thinking and learning, and I’ve realized that I’m bisexual.”
“I go by Sophie now, not Jason.”
“My sister wants me to meet her girlfriend.”
“You’re not loving if you don’t use gender-inclusive language.”
These are only a few phrases I’ve heard in the last few months. Phrases that have caused grief, sorrow, even some anger.
These people are my friends. Young people I’ve grown up with or went to college with. Girls and guys that, at one time, believed that homosexuality, transgenderism, and other sexual and gender-related issues were sins.
Something is shifting in our culture. Not too long ago, the vast majority of the world saw the LGBTQIA+ thought process as insanity, or, at least as an anomaly. And Christians viewed it as sin.
But now? Now we are expected to accept this, just as readily as we would accept breathing air. And if we don’t? If we dare to question this? We are labeled as “bigots,” “homophobes,” or “backward.” We’re told by the world that, if we’re going to be good Christians, we will accept this wholeheartedly. the LGBTQIA+ community would have us believe that it’s loving to support them.
But is it loving?
“Love is patient and kind,” yes. This is true. But it also “does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”
If you’re reading this, you know that homosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism, and other similar choices are wrong. They do go against God’s plan. Because God created male and female. Period.
And God created marriage to portray the relationship between Christ and the church. The LGBTQIA+ ideals twist and distort that beautiful picture. They make marriage worldly, selfish, and foolish. And that attacks the plan of God.
So, to love the LGBTQIA+ community is to hold to the truth. To refuse to support their wrongdoing.
However, love is patient. Patience doesn’t lose heart. It patiently perseveres and bravely endures misfortunes and troubles. It is slow to anger and slow to punish. In the case of a friend or family member who comes out with a wrong “sexuality,” this means praying for that person. Continuing to show them Christ.
Love is kind. It is mild and acts benevolently. Even when provoked. Even when there is sin involved. In this situation, this means humbly, quietly acting with kindness toward these people.
Love does not envy. It does not boil with hatred or anger, and, according to Blue Letter Bible, it does not “busy oneself about” others. Anger might be a normal response to the sin of homosexuality, transgenderism etc. It’s even godly to be angry at the sin. But it is neither godly nor is it loving to hate the person committing this sin.
Love does not brag. It doesn’t put oneself on display, or boast of oneself. Love is careful not to compare one’s own “goodness” to another’s sinfulness. Please don’t compare your situation with someone else’s. Don’t brag that none of your children live in this kind of lifestyle.
Love is not arrogant. This word for arrogant literally means, “to inflate, blow up, to cause to swell up.” So, love is not proud. It is not lofty. It doesn’t think of oneself as better than another. You are no better than the gay boy, the bisexual girl, or the trans college student. You are both sinners. So, please, don’t be arrogant about your own sin.
Love is not rude. It does not act unbecomingly or unseemly. This aspect of love forbids us from crude jokes at the expense of the LGBTQIA+ community. It disqualifies us from making fun of them. This love is so careful how we talk about others. Especially those we disagree with.
Love does not insist on its own way. It does not make demands or require something from someone. We cannot expect unsaved people to act like they are saved. We cannot demand that they deny who they believe they are. We can sorrow over their decisions. We can grieve. We can reason with them. We can talk up the truth of God’s Word – God’s way. But we cannot insist on our own way.
Love is not irritable. It is not made sharp, irritated, or provoked. Love does not scorn or despise others.
Love is not resentful. It does not keep track of wrongs, or take those wrongs into account in its dealings with others. We must be careful not to allow our own hurt and grief over these sins to affect our dealings with other people.
Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing. We should be saddened at the sin involved here. I have mentioned grief a couple of times in this essay. And grief is such a legitimate response.
Love rejoices in the truth. We can find hope and joy in the truth of the Gospel. We can exult in the godly expression of sexuality – between a man and a woman, within the bonds of marriage. Joy is found when the truth is expressed.
Love bears all things. It protects and covers the errors and faults of others. 1 Peter 4:8 says love “...covers a multitude of sins.”
Love believes all things. It is persuaded of truth, and trusts in Jesus. Love has confidence in what it knows to be right and in the Lord and author of Truth.
Love hopes all things. Blue Letter Bible says, “in a religious sense, to wait for salvation with joy and full confidence.” This is more than just a good feeling about something. This is the earnest expectation of the hope of Heaven. And the belief that God can – and will! – work in the heart of the family member or the friend who is living in sin.
Love endures all things. It perseveres and refuses to flee. Love remains, “under misfortunes and trials to hold fast in one’s faith in Christ.” Does this feel familiar? In this situation – that of a friend or family member who identifies as LGBTQIA+ – this is holding on to the hope that comes with faith. Love endures.
I can’t promise to have all of the answers as to how to respond to a “coming out” or to this kind of sin. I’m still figuring it out myself.
But I do know that Love is the beginning of the answer. I do know that, when I was unlovely, God sent His Son to die for my sin, for your sin, and for the sins of the world, including the LGBTQIA+ community. If He can save me, and if He can save you, then I know He can save anyone.
For Further Reading:
“When Homosexuality Hits Home,” by Joe Dallas, is a Biblical resource to address these kinds of issues as a parent of a child who identifies as homosexual
“When Harry Became Sally,” by Ryan T Anderson. This is not Christian by any stretch of the imagination, but it does teach much of the thought process behind transgenderism and a lot of the science that actually shows this is harming people.
Sarah Lingle lives with her husband of almost 3 years in the mountains of North Carolina. She stays busy teaching prenatal classes at a crisis pregnancy center, supporting families through pregnancy, birth, and loss, as a birth and bereavement doula, and serving in church ministries.
In her free time, Sarah loves exploring God's creation with her husband or curling up with a good book and a hot mug of tea.
